First things first, what exactly are positive affirmations?
Well, the officially definition of an affirmation according to dictionary.com is
1.the act or an instance of affirming; state of being affirmed.
2.the assertion that something exists or is true.
3.something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declaredto be true.
Ok, so that’s all well and good, but this still doesn’t really get to the juice of what positive affirmations are.
In essence, positive affirmations are positively-framed statements that are spoken in present tense about who you want to be.
For example, let’s say that I’m really bad at managing money. I know that I want to become a good money manager, however, I need to change my belief that I’m bad at managing money. To start this process of change, I would begin telling myself that “I am a fast learner on good money management”.
By verbalizing this phrase, consciously thinking about and repeating it to myself regularly I will ultimately start to believe it be true – that I actually am a fast learner on good money management.
When I start to actually believe that I am a fast learner on good money management I then take action towards becoming a good money manager. Ultimately, I BECOME a fast learner on good money management.
How Do Positive Affirmations Work?
Mahatma Ghandi has a famous quote that outlines how your beliefs shape your destiny. He is quoted as saying:
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,Your thoughts become your words,Your words become your actions,Your actions become your habits,Your habits become your values,Your values become your destiny.”
The thing is, when you BE who you are and get the RESULTS you like or expected, it then REINFORCES your beliefs. Essentially, it’s a circular flow as shown in the model below.
t’s a self-perpetuating cycle.
For example, if you believe that you are good with children, you will think and feel that you are, you will then be more comfortable around children and behave better with them, you will then get better results (smiling, laughter, hugs, productivity) which in-turn reinforces your belief that you’re good with children.
It’s very similar to the confidence-competence loop that you may have heard of.
As a result, you will probably seek out opportunities to be with children more often because you know you are good with them, it makes you feel good and you get some great rewards (including psychological). It’s simply science of the brain – we tend to gravitate towards the things that we are naturally good at or get a positive reward from.
So, what exactly are we changing when we say positive affirmations?
Effectively, we’re changing our thinking and our beliefs, which, in turn, will create behavioural change and improved results.
The thing is, there’s no magic pill. Changing a belief can be hard if it is well engrained in our mind.
All of your thoughts, feelings, experiences and results throughout your whole life have led you to believe certain things to be true. With all of this “evidence” backing up your belief, no wonder changing a belief is hard!
However, there is a specific technique to saying positive affirmations that will help you get the results you desire. I’ll speak to this below under the heading of how.
When Do I Say Positive Affirmations?
Positive affirmations are not something that you simply say once off and expect to see massive improvements.
If you want to build confidence, saying to yourself “I am confident” once won’t create any lasting change. It may give you that little bit of extra confidence to overcome an immediate hurdle, however I’m here to help you make long-lasting change that you embody in your everyday life – eventually, without even thinking about it.
Therefore it’s important that you commit to making positive affirmations part of your everyday routine. It needs to become habit and needs to become automatic.
Let’s talk about some good times to say positive affirmations.
1. Morning Routine
Do you have a morning routine? If not, you should have one.
The most productive people I know have a specific morning routine they follow everyday. I’ve recently been focused on implementing a solid morning routine and I’m seeing some amazing results in terms of overall wellbeing and productivity each day.
As part of your morning routine, say some positive affirmations to get your mindset and belief system working for you each day.
For example, in the morning when I first wake up I lie in bed, take 3 deep breaths, visualise the day I have planned for myself and say the positive affirmation “Today I am going to be super-productive”.
By saying positive affirmations as part of your morning routine you can be certain that you’ll be saying them regularly and it will be much more likely to become a habit.
2. Doing a Regular Activity
If there is a regular activity that you do in your life on a daily basis then you can “habit stack” saying your positive affirmations. For example, it might be when you’re:
- On your way to work each morning
- Having lunch
- Before you enter a room for a meeting
- Before you open the door at home each evening
- Brushing your teeth
- Go to the bathroom
- … just to name a few
Again, using these regular moments will help you create the habit of saying these positive affirmations and over time they will become natural and you’ll think of them outside of these regular moments.
3. Doing a Specific but Important or Challenging Activity
Perhaps there are activities that you only do on certain days or perhaps it’s less frequent such as once a week or once a fortnight.
These activities are often challenging. But they are important and you want to make sure you are performing at your best during these times. It’s times like this where you need to get focused and be your best self.
Examples might be:
- Getting on stage to present
- Going on a date
- Leading a meeting
- Picking up the phone to prospect
Just before each of these activities, you can say 1 to 3 affirmations that will reinforce the belief that you are creating. The simple fact of being about to perform these activities will remind you to say your positive affirmations.
For example, if I’m about to present a workshop I would say to myself “I love facilitating. This is what I do best” and “I was born to do this”. Even at times when I’m feeling unprepared or extremely nervous, I would say these positive affirmations and they would help refocus my thoughts and therefore how I perform during the session.
4. Ad-hoc or Spontaneous Challenges
Sometimes there are challenges that suddenly come up in our lives.
Perhaps it’s your boss that comes and tells you that she needs a report completed and sent to her within the next 2 hours and you know you’re already struggling for time. Or perhaps it’s that bump into an ex-lover who broke your heart.
In these situations you can quickly turn to a positive affirmation to help you get in the right mindset.
For example, if your boss asks for a report due immediately that you can’t say no to, you might say “I am a great problem-solver, I think outside the box” or “I love these challenges, this is going to be a great test of my ability. Let’s do it”
Or, in the case of bumping into an ex-lover who broke your heart you might say something like “I forgive her” or “I’m excited to catch up”.
In these situations, you may not have embodied specific beliefs because you haven’t been stating these affirmations on a regular basis, but you can take a moment to frame the situation in the positive which effectively does the same thing, but just for the immediate term. It’s just a matter of being conscious of your thoughts.
How to Say a Positive Affirmation
Simply saying the words of a positive affirmation is not going to have any significant effect on your life. You need to FEEL it. It’s about embodying what you’re saying.
It’s a hard thing to describe, but you want to physiologically get your mind and body to truly believe in the statement that you’re saying.
For example, stating “I am super confident” while internally thinking “I sound like an idiot. I don’t believe this. What am I doing?” is not going to get you anywhere. In fact, it’s going to be counter-productive.
Instead, when stating “I am super confident” you want to stand like a confident person would stand. You want to sound like a confident person would sound. You want to breathe like a confident person would breathe. You want to visualise yourself as a confident person.
See the difference?
THAT’S the secret of positive affirmations.
The secret is physiologically experiencing what you want to experience.
Remember, it’s a self-perpetuating cycle.
When you think and feel it, you will behave differently, you will see different results and ultimately your core beliefs will naturally be shaped over time to the point you no longer even need those positive affirmations. You simply ARE those beliefs..
3 Simple Steps to Saying Positive Affirmations
If this is your first time trying the power of positive affirmations, do these steps (ie DO IT NOW… it takes 10 seconds):
- Take a deep breath
- Say your positive affirmation. As you’re saying the positive affirmation, ALSO do the below
- VISUALISE yourself as how you want to be (eg confident. Create vivid imagery in your mind about what you are confident doing). If it’s easier, close your eyes.
- FEEL how you want to feel by stating that positive affirmation (eg confident).
- SPEAK how you would when living that affirmation (eg confident)
- Take a moment to think about how good you feel.
That’s it!
Positive affirmations are simple!
But just remember the two secret components to make them effective:
- Physiologically experience the positive affirmation
- Do it regularly
The Best Positive Affirmations For Your Life
Below, I have compiled the Top 100 Positive Affirmations you will need in your life. I’ve broken them down by category so you can easily sort through and pick out the affirmations that are most relevant to you.
Simply click on the category of positive affirmations below and you will be taken directly to that section. Or if you prefer, simply scroll through them all and enjoy the experience!
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